Anthology of Love


    1
the cool summer breeze
familiar to me and you
and our trips and trials
something i'd rather forget.
remember the time, i love you?
well, never happened.

2
i ordered sweet and sour sauce
because it reminds me of you
and although i dont like it that much
i consumed it with honor
for you and the love you gave me
one that i had taken for granted and
now i dont have.
and i suppose that
wherever you could be 
at this very moment,
this sweet and sour sauce symbolizes the
very nature of our relationship
i consumed
you watched.
and as time passes more and more
i miss you
then forget
then miss you again
and even though
hypothetically i could just
reach out and touch you
you would not reply to my sensation.
i wish you were still here.

3
I've lost my mind with you
I cant seem to find the
mass that rested in this
skull between both
ears i love when you caress
and the fingertips
and toe
nails that fell off in my dream
with you in it, 
that same dream where 
my legs chopped off and
tu rostro
engraved on my
ribs like tattoos
from adams sin.
The funeral of my brain
attended by many
mourned by few
and as the mighty sword
lifts above,
judging the bathtubs
scrubbed with dirt on the
paintbrush,
comitting the child
to the rampant energies
focused only to few
years left on this body
staggered different
discordant to the envious
breath that the temple once
forsook from my enemies.
I wish I could live like
the titties upon the breast
chest less we depress
buttons voting on a no by no
basis we stand by.
My brain is tired of you now.
Go to wake
up.

4
the tree in which we sat under
in that meadow of dreams
lays there just as I do
wishing and dreaming for anew
lover to sit under and
kiss and love all we can
the springtime chanting its 
wind against their lovely flesh
asinine as nothing else.
However, 
as achingly it seems
i wish to stay here
with my peach juice,
fluffy and fizzed
as the soda we drank at the
restaurant you described to me with
verbose tones and colors aglow
like the cars lights
flickering like candles in the night.
I wish I was here
I wish I was there
I wish I was anywhere
But I wish I existed.

Yes you in my brain
hollering out like no recourse
i silenced thee with a tab press
like code words being
written on paper
sent through the postal 
service i went to with my beloved
and recieved the blessings of the
father above and below
and in between 
looks shared and 
kisses exchanged I
looked at your generational 
tree that rests in your meadow
and it compares nothing to mines.

5
your lips 
frozen on mines
gives me the impression of
longing after the same
flowers i delivered to your house
they were lovely, weren't they?
my garden gate door
left open for you to arrive
drink champaign lemonade
with me
peaches and lemon bars
in a row on the 
tray resting on my garden table
one you've never seen before.
i want something, you tell
me after finishing your
lady grey lavender
tea i prepared for you in my
tiny kitchen adjacent to my
back door.
i ask and wonder
what?
you smile
and disappear within the 
rose bushes
planted low and growing high
like architecture
of greens and colors
and you know what?
I want it too.

6
YES I REMEMBER YOU
I ALWAYS WILL
AND YOU, SO SUDDEN IN YOUR
DESPEDIDA
DE NUESTRO REALIDAD
AS MY HEART
KEEPS YOUR ROOM
TIDY AND DESTROYED
JUST AS YOU LEFT IT
AND I REMEMBER YOU
OH HOW I REMEMBERED YOU
AN ALLY IN MY MIND
A SPY IN REALITY
AND MI PIENSAMIENTO
EN TUS COLORES
SOMETHING HIDDEN SO
INNOCUOUS WITHIN THE
WAVES THAT CRASHED ON MY SHORE
FLOODING MY ISLAND
I WAIT FOR THEE HERE

but your boat
Never to return
Will kiss my shore again.
Just as it always and ever has.

7
Something facinates me about you
and to say this is not narcisism,
how the way things appear flawed
extremely so in your
imperfect eyes and yet
even putting the glasses on
you still see the imperfections.
And, 
I want to tell you that's okay
to see yourself as the enemy instead of the friend
the hater instead of the lover
the lover of your own self
and the world will tell you these words are wrong
but prove me I'm right
it won't matter what they say in the end
what will matter is what you remember yourself to be
just as pasts have of you
soon, you will see.
I hope that you do.

8
suppose you did find this out
perhaps it is obvious
unless you are not seeing
dont fret, i dont want this either.

9
somewhat objectifying
the ways of my flesh
makes me more uncomfortable
than the dead silence
exchanged between us
and the ways
in which others state
it could never be objectively
object
i object!
for reason is not found within
but without
reason
which is the reason why
my love is so
missing from this page
in my life
a blank area in which
your name should fill
the void 
like the voice in my head
screaming that i could
never be good enough
for anyone else.
the past is the trouble
in which i encounter in the future
and the present
is the gift you chose for me.
an eternity of loss
and an eternity of love
not for you
but for someone who will never exist.

i wish i could
kill the voice
like the shadow of smoke it is.
and i wish my heart could
recover from the 
drone hovering above
waiting for the moment to
snipe me out of my
delusions of grandose
love for someone 
other than you.
im not addicted.
im poisoned.

10
my love for you 
rains down like 
the eggs from my ovaries, monthly
down a slope of blood:
it doesn't anymore.
    

ITS TIME TO MEASURE THE UNMEASURABLE.