The Anthology of Hate


I
Beauty replaced by distain
Stained glass sitting on beside the
porch cabinets and
wait that doesnt make sense.
And neither do I to you
To instinctively draw a hand up
When your voice is soft and
taunting, mocking
My very being of browness
Tainting the very fine white sand you
Used to count my sanity.
Three. Little. Grains.
And those three grains, you would say
Hate the very being that I am
But not you.
No you were separate but attached to those grains
And through those grains you shit on the
temple from which your body grew from
And not even God could withstand your mightiness
My Highness.
Wash the stains off your feet
As you wash away your sins
So holy is the water that you drink
So dirty is the one I have.
In fact, my work is the devils plague
Hitting at your bones
Chop down the Apple tree.
I want to be the snake in you
Bleeding through your veins as you do mines
And exposing the flesh you did mines
Assaulting me with your breath.
Breathe unto me.
Breathe your stench to what you called your Godess
No longer your God
And expose what good life you had
Your little home
With the loft for your own
Sexualizing the bed you rest your head on
Something I can never do now.
Your feet
Placed precariously on my back
And the backs of my ancestors your ancestors exploited
As, of course, you reject a kind of your own.
Every day I learn more and more of the
Reasons for your actions
yet I still grow confused as I fail the test
Time after time.
Waste of my time.

II
I often wonder what its like
To have the innocence not even a child has
An innocence no one can have
The violition of violation
That, upon infliction,
Destroys the simple thought
that the innocence, unreplacable,
Suddenly becomes someone elses
And that innocence turns bitter
Sweet cravings become salt
Sweet longings become sour
And you, whom once belonged to the upmost of innocent
Becomes more and more innocent
as you collect innocence.
The empire of dirt,
That blemishes your mother's old white sheets
Rejected while you shed the red
That blemishes mines.
My flesh,
Caressed with your
Sharp tongue,
Poisoned at the bite,
The love bug won.
And yet I long for eyes
Not yours, mines
Restored onto my sockets.
Being able to feel again would be so nice.

III
I
CANT
BREATHE
WITH
YOUR
lovely
HANDS
ON
MY
putrid
SKIN
AND
I
CANT
GET
YOUR
heavenly
STENCH
OUT
OF
MY
fugly
NOSE
THOSE
SEVEN
YEARS
I
aguishly
LONG
FOR
SO
MY
disgusting
BODY
WILL
NEVER
REMEMBER
THE
FORM
OF
YOUR
tantelizing
TOUCH
abrasive
SKIN
AGAINST
SKIN
MAKES
ME
unexplicably
SICK
AND
I
WANT
TO
VOMIT
OUT
THESE
devistating
WORDS
ONTO
YOUR
perfect
FLESH
TAINTING
YOUR
amazing
WORLD
WITH
MY
grotesque
MOUTH
FEED
YOUR
SIN
ONTO
YOUR
BODY
SO
THAT
YOU
MAY
NEVER
HAVE
THE
PRIVILEGE
OF
TAINTING
OR
SEEING
ANYONE
EVER
AGAIN

STOP CALLING ME OUT WITH YOUR MIND
STOP REMINDING ME OF YOUR PRESENCE
YOU ARE IN MY PAST
NO MORE MY FUTURE
AND NO LONGER
A PRESENT TO MY BODY.

IV
Crucified within my sleep
I pray to thee, my soul you keep
When I die before I wake
You rip my soul, jolt me awake.

Anguished and stuck in the past
I pray to thee, hope this wont last
But you, so hateful, pushed it long
And so I write to you this song.

Crucified within my sleep
I pray to thee, my soul you keep
You tore it out from my very being
And said im just someone you're seeing.

Terrified by your own face
Nothing like a good ol' race
You the dog, im the meat
And you consume me, you feast.

Crucified within my sleep
I pray to thee, my soul you keep
If I die before you kiss
Then I hope that you will miss.

Your voice is stuck within my head
The brain that filled you up with dread
Yet you smile at my demise
And you sing while im crucified.

Now I lay me down to rest
I pray to thee to do your best
I hope you find a good arrow
That will crumble bone and marrow.

You will answer to your call
When God's fury shines down to all
You are first on the devils list
So get ready for both their fists.

Crucified by your embrace
Hope to see you in no space
I want every fiber of you away
And so I can let peace stay

But you wont just stay away.

V
My head in the sky
My heart in the clouds
You push my body
deeper and deeper into the ocean
and in the fright and fought
Gingerly caressing the curls on my head
Tightening your fist
Crushing my fragile skull
You remain here
You remain here
You remain here.
And in the cataclysm of
fishes running and twigs flying
Thrashing and thrusting as
You and I did once
I find myself at unease
As one should
But its been 3 years
And yet that picture of us dying
Comforts my very being
Because if I bleed as you do
I can forget.
Bleeding, juices running from our bodies
As one we lived
As one we die
And the anger pitted against you
Shall become one with you
As my soul falls above and yours rises below
Looking above sees me no more.
I hope you can find the pain
I sent you in the mail
With the stamp with the roses upon it
An image of rotting flowers as my growth died
The moment you touched me with cursed fingers
And the package wrapped tightly
With a little bow
The one you would call a present
To my innocence.
I hope the card attached to it
Will exemplify succinctly
my intentions in the package
Have you forgotten what you've done?
Have you so willfully forgotten the
damage contained within my
heart like a
bruise after a heart attack
Covered with a small 
Bandage designed with
Little hearts and lovers
An irony as I rip it off
Fresh sting and pain
Nothing I can place upon the wound again.
How can the heart bleed
When you have sucked all the blood out from my veins
A void, an emptiness within
Bones rattling dry within my
Flesh sack
Muscles consumed by your
cannibalistic hunger
For lust over my
Pure inner flesh.
I haunt ye for centuries and
Yet you persist
Remaining unchanged
Until the day you die I hope you regret ever being born.

VI
Claw, scrape
play hangman with me.
one simple syllable
one simple phrase
key to my heart
key to my dick
no cheaters in this game
a game you cannot guess
choose the next letter
or make it your last
keep running and running and running and running
and running and running and running and running
and ruin it for me.
gas, poison
slice and dice
i laugh at what you think is nice
i taunt your idea of safe
something about you makes me want to just
rip apart and consume
like an animal
all mine.
But of course, I'm not the
asshole i am but
fail to appear as such
and i need for you to know that
i need for you to know that
i need for you to know that
i need for you to know that i love you.

VII
show me your shadows
so i may blind it with my
oh so holy light in which
you reject due to your 
unholiness
you mark yourself with
crosses and baby jesus
yet you can never attain
my status in heaven
I Am The True Master
Lay Down And Obey Me
your rejection stings
for it is the devils bite against my
pure white flesh
and in that marking
i cast thee aside
demon of the night
I Am Your True Master
Lay Down And Obey Me
i dont manipulate to get my way, no
i convince people
and its the name of the game
its the game of the name
just as i convinced you
to hand in your

I Am The True Master
Lay Down And Obey Me
i am never at fault here
im perfect in every way
i do no harm, 
i see no harm
and your accusation
hurts my very fragile
heart
your pain does not amount
to the pain your accusation hurts.
I Am The Perfect Master
Lay Down And Obey Me
Lay Down And Obey Me
Lay you body Down and Obey Me

VIII
that bitch had it in for her
wait not you
im sorry i didnt mean you
please forgive me
i was just
no please im sorry
please no
i love you please

that bitch had it in for her.

IX
I DEFLECT MY ANGER AT MYSELF ONTO YOU
OH YOU SO PRECIOUS TO MY DICK
THE LIVING FUCKHOLE THAT I ADORE
WANT TO KEEP LIKE THE REST OF MY PLUSHES ON MY SHELF
IM GOING TO DIE YOUNG
AND THAT SCARES ME SO
AND I KNOW YOU WONT UNDERSTAND THAT
BECAUSE I NEVER ONCE MENTIONED IT TO YOU
AND I HOPE YOU CAN ONE DAY SEE THAT
I HOPE THAT SERVES JUSTIFICATION ENOUGH FOR THE
THINGS I COMMITTED TO YOU
THE RIGHTS I WRONGED 
AND THE PAIN I CAUSED
BECAUSE BELIEVE IT!
I HAVE LOTS AND LOTS OF PAIN!
AND THAT PAIN COMES FROM A PLACE YOU WILL NEVER KNOW
FOR WE ARE NOT WE ANYMORE
AND IM SO GLAD ABOUT THAT
THOUGH I WAS AN ASSHOLE AND ALL THAT
YOU WERE TOO
AND YOU KNOW IT BECAUSE
I TOLD YOU
BUT IM SO SCARED
OF DYING ALONE
AND I KNOW YOU WISH
THAT FOR ME
AND MAYBE IT WILL HAPPEN
BUT I REALLY HOPE NOT
I HOPE SOMEONE WILL LOVE ME
MAYBE THE WAY YOU DID
THOUGH I ALWAYS DOUBTED THE WAY YOU DID
IF I COULD ASK
IF IT WOULDNT BE TOO MUCH TROUBLE
DID YOU REALLY
LOVE ME?
BECAUSE I THOUGHT I LOVED YOU
MAYBE I JUST LOVED THE IDEA OF YOU
RE MOUTH ON MY DICK BECAUSE MAN WAS THAT GREAT
AND THE WAY YOU MOVED AND MOANED
OH MAN I STILL GET OFF TO THAT
THOUGH SOMETIMES I FEEL GUILTY FOR SURE
I MEAN
IT WAS RAPE
BUT DOESNT MATTER NOW
THATS IN THE PAST
IM A BETTER PERSON NOW
IM A BETTER PERSON NOW
IM A BETTER PERSON NOW
I WONT DO IT AGAIN I PROMISE
LET ME BACK INTO YOUR LIFE
PLEASE
IM LONELY
OR AT LEAST RECOMMEND ME ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS

IM NOT DRUNK I SWEAR

X
Do you hear me
whispering your name like
sweet prayers
to the counselor
reporting your deeds to 
the institution
that chose to keep your white ass safe
while endangering me and 
many other people of color
you choose to prey on.
One day we'll all fall prey.
    

I WONT LET HIM GO, I CLING TO HER, FORGET WHO YOU THINK WE WERE.